Let Her Talk

Ringkasan

Combat Confidential #022 - S3E7 - Jaque Almeida Let Her Talk This week, we have the second appearance of Jaque Almeida, BJJ Black Belt, women's self-defense and jiu-jitsu coach, author, and TED Talker, join us once again. Jaque is also the host of the popular podcast "Let Her…

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[Music] yeah okay so you can hear yourself yeah I'm good yeah okay cool uh we are all around okay everyone uh welcome back um today my guest is no stranger to this podcast but um we have a bit of a new format um so before we get into it um just give a little brief introduction on my guest here she's I'm looking at this like I don't know uh she's a Jiu-Jitsu black belt uh she's the host of her new podcast let her talk um this is women's self-defense uh in Jiu-Jitsu coat uh you're an author you recently had a a an ebook that was uh released uh you have a TED Talk am I missing anything no yeah uh there's so much to you and that's one of the reasons why uh I think you're one of my favorite people so uh welcome to be on here everyone Jackie ala ala I always [ __ ] I always [ __ ] up your name ala ala yes yeah thank you so much Tony for help me and of course like we are friends we have been training together and you have been help me out to if to let her talk as well which is a pleasure it's a pleasure to be the other side of as like in your podcast you have done for so much for me and I'm just very thankful for as and I hopefully I can give a little bit what you have offered me um as well yeah right on uh would you would you be able to give everyone just kind like a brief rundown of letter talk and what it is and what you aim to do with it yeah um the let her talk um I realized many ladies on the mat has been um not giving their voice enough and like I always like to chat with ladies and I always like like after training you know we we call in Brazilian in in Portuguese actually in Brazil we call he which is like that like funny talk after training do you know like that's where the community come from and that's what I was missing because like we have so much to share and in terms of our thoughts and I was like okay I need to lift in their women voices because because it's not just about um just about training or win the Championships there is much more involved and then I do think it's not just about like the discipline and the resilience that like a lot of people say and a lot of people know we get from Jiu-Jitsu especially the Jiu-Jitsu people know like most of people outside don't realize how much we can get from Jiu-Jitsu but I think the latest there is more stories involved H when they're talking on the mats as well that comes from outside of the mats and that jiujitsu has helped them with it um as like like my only story Jiu-Jitsu has happened to me so much and as much as like as I share it I get more people connected to me that like listen I have been through x y and Zed and then I just want to know like how can you pass that through or like that was the purpose behind it and also to show like most of the companies as well the importance of martial arts not just um like as fun or like for exercising but like how much has been changed H in a professional environment as well because like a lot of people's focus on athlete only like you're doing Jiu-Jitsu you need to become athlete and that that's not what it is like you can you can do for fun as well you can do as a hobby as well and you're going to see the same effect as athlet will have in their life by just practicing or maybe doing one competition so you can challenge yourself yeah there's a huge uh mental benefit yeah to you know even just kind of casually training um you know that would that can uh improve your life in all aspects you know professionally at home with your family or just you know personally yeah person I guess I shared so much passion about it what like Jiu-Jitsu has done for me me that I just can't just keep to myself yeah and even though like the job and the college that I have done and everything I was like I cannot just be behind the computer um and then by like knowing everything that jiujitsu has done for me just keep to myself H I would say that would be like very selfish of myself that's why like I have this passion of share the love and the community and everything that jiujitsu has done for me to the other ladies that has no idea what this is Sport can be yeah 100% um look everyone tune in um you know it's not just me saying that uh it's it's a good show um it it genu genuinely is um think we got um or excuse me you got a lot of guests led up in the next what few weeks yes and you're releasing bi-weekly yes so what uh we just had one last week so by week so yeah um everyone check it out uh all the details and everything will be linked yeah below so uh and as well like for like I just shouting out thank you so much but before I used to be very shy of asking people to share my stuff but like I'm doing this for the good of H get more ladies involved to sports and my belief it is for like the more people will do jits so more people will realize they strong there inside of themselves and more risk they will take and more sucess success in life there will be not just in terms of like there's a success that means different for each person and I believe when you're good with yourself when you're like in par and you do have that confidence you actually like start sharing the world and for in my own visualization H the world will be better if more people believe more in themselves and don't put themselves down cuz they are they are comparing so much I have been in that position that's why I I can say like compare yourself and don't believe and and that's what that jiujitsu like has helped and if you have the sensibility of like bring what you have learned like I always say to the people that I coach is like look well done for like you were here one more day and then remember when you start that you were afraid of like doing like Tumbl or you know like look at you now like you were afraid of doing hips scape so like that is small like small steps that you were like emphasize for people and then if they can if you associate this with what happens to your life outside like take that small steps cuz it is difficult difficult like you want you you want the big goal and then you're like sometimes it's very hard for you to pay attention of like the small achieve achievements that you have done and that's what I think like jit to come through all your life those small like little wings and yeah definitely and by doing that like I I now I can say like out loud so if you can please share and help like lifting women voices I'll be forever grateful but this is not for me is to get more ladies um on the mats out all over the world it's not just going to be my gym like I don't have gym but it's not going to be the gym that I train or the gym that I coach but every single uh gym basically my monitor my little sorry my my thing just went away pause I'm going to turn it back on um oh God now I can hear you yeah all right excellent all right now we're back had to had to get that back up even though it's crooked and tap the lights are all whatever [ __ ] it all right let's help our audience get to know Jackie a little bit better here and some of these I'm curious of as well so first one uh coffee or tea um coffee for sure coffee yeah 100% who do you ever drink tea you drink like herbal tea and whatnot yeah um I do drink tea and then I actually love Irish tea as well with a little bit milk on that stage I I think I became like 7% Irish at this at this moment but like I like both but of course like I need to start my day with coffee oh yeah absolutely yeah uh favorite type of music um to be honest like I do like I like chill music and but like music for me like the letter the the lyrics means a lot and very recently like I'm very spiritual person like I always listen like music relate to life and God and and like how you you know like persuade life every day so like that's on every day um on my whatever like in my house or anything but if it in terms of training I do like a little bit chill and black music and yeah okay uh favorite board game board game at chess chess for sure yeah 100% like I love play chess wouldn't I wouldn't be that good at it I like a monopoly is one of my favorites really I'm not like I'm not good at but I love it you want to hear a sad story um when I was I don't know I was probably like 10 or 11 maybe um I remember for Christmas wi year I told my mom that like I wanted board games I wanted a bunch of board games like give me board games that's all I wanted board games and then Christmas came and I got a bunch of board games but I'm an only child so I had no one to play with oh so I had all these board games and I like you know my poor mom was stuck you know playing all of them with me but even then like it was it's not the same or wasn't the same because uh you know you want like a group of people yeah you know and I guess that's a bad side of being an only child isn't it cuz I am as well you are I am yeah oh yeah that's right I remember you you told me that you yeah yeah but uh no I just remember it was it always sticks with me but I love board games and I want my kids to hopefully love them they they're playing them anyway well at least they have each other now yeah you have two of them um aside from you know kind of like Instagram Facebook blah blah what is your what's your favorite app on your phone um aside off instag like I actually have a very good app called habits and I know that am I haven't I don't use it but I've seen it oh my God I love that yeah very worth it because like I put my goals over there I I don't know my whole life I did a strategy in companies and like I always worked with it so like everything needs to be very organized and like for like for my own peace of mind yeah you know so like that's the app that like I always use it and in my phone like will be habits yeah right on yeah uh where we at fa favorite ice cream flavor H chocolate really yeah for sure like no doubt about it like I'm crazy about chocolate I was always a vanilla guy and then I recently started uh liking pistachio ah yeah like a lot of people like go for pistachio like they they getting crazy about it and they only go for it like I I went to Italy very recently with my parents and I got one like passion fruit in Italy like gelato so it was very good as well but like it needs to have chocolate yeah all right now I got a few uh would you rather questions oh okay all right uh first one would you rather never do laundry again or never do the dishes say the first one again never like wash your laundry or wash the dishes what what would you rather never do laundry for 100% I hate it yeah I actually like enjoy washing the dishes really yeah like I have a big window so I'm like you know it's no we um our dishwasher broke for it was broke for like three months cuz we couldn't get parts for it some it's a long story but we couldn't get parts for it um and then my wife and I were just staring at we we hated each other cuz we both hate doing dishes this is no but this is like a relation like a relationship saver isn't it 100% 100% many people that they have like that dishwash and like oh save my relationship absolutely heck yeah man um would you rather live in a world without music or m music or movies um movies same yeah I don't really watch movies yeah I sometimes I do cuz for me like I can't remember the last movie I I watched the Barbie movie and I turned it off cuz it was garbage I love watch Like The Big Bang Theory like yeah believe it or not like I'm that kind of like nerd person that likes those stuff and but like I'm trying to watch movie because otherwise I'm probably going to do something so like I use that as a excuse like either watch movie or like read a book because otherwise I'm the type of person it's very hard to relax and like if I'm at home and like okay like there's nothing to do or like I have cleaned all my house and what can I do and then eventually I'm going to start work or start doing something that like would be for Monday and then I was like oh listen I do have a free time so I kind of like forcing myself to watching a movie or like a documentary or like if I don't want to if I my head is like there's a lot of information for that week and then I'm like listen let me watching something I don't I love to be at home yeah and then I'm like at the moment I'm in in like a Solitude Place yeah H learning a lot about like what Jackie like to do on like or on her own cuz I always be surround a lot of people and like now I'm I think it's the time for me like especially the goals that I want I actually need to like come back back to my ense and like doing a lot of things for me because I'm doing a lot for the others if that makes sense so I actually need to recharge myself uh on my own and when I'm home by doing things that I discover that I like to do you know such as like cooking on Friday for me you know and so yeah has been a great experience new but great right on all right uh here's a fun one uh would you rather have your browsing history leaked or your text messages um delete or like no no no like would you rather have like your computer browser history or all your text messages um computer but browser yeah yeah yeah like the things that I like my messages like you know I don't like text much okay and I am not that type of person have like keep texting like if I'm on the computer Jesus Christ you're going to get a text off of me like you get me in a good mood but I just don't like keep T like typing on the phone so it's very hard for me to send like good message or like when I'm over the phone I'm good with like voice note H but I'm very very straightforward like the things that need to get done uh would you rather a little dark um would you rather know when you're going to die or how you're going to die um I like I'm not afraid of that um I guess like but how I am going to die like yeah I think I do the same yeah like I always asked God I was like please not airplane accident please cuz I'm super afraid of airplane well like don't say that I'm getting on a plane next week oh [ __ ] sorry but yeah like how how I'm going to die yeah all right last one would you rather go to jail for a crime you didn't commit or let someone else take the fall for you um let someone yeah that's like if I didn't commit like you know um that's very tough one like sorry sorry no would you uh either go to jail for a crime you didn't commit or let someone uh take the fall for you for something you did do ah okay um no like I would never put like something that I like you know have done in some ones so I Pro probably the first one yeah yeah yeah all I got to say to this keep your commentary full I'm not going to but at Le yeah but like I'm very assertive person like when like I always try to be right and like I always try to do my best to to do things right and and like for good and like you know like if if you were doing this for me like I know you're going to I know you're going to pay off like you know or I I will say some truths as well um very hard head but like not like not close not close mind you know like when when when things need to be right for me like it needs to be right you know what I mean like if you're doing right I keep saying like um I like to compare a lot like when I go to Brazil like we always have like when we go to Brazil like we always have like oh do the Brazilian thing it's like to know like go turn around when you cannot turn around because you were going to get the fast way and I just hate everything when it's like good the way that you have to do because like you can't you can't blame me anyone else or the government if you're not doing your thing so like everything that I'm trying to do I try to do right like even though like you're going to take me Jack it's going to take an hour for you to drive and turn around because you made a mistake would you rather to know like take a short term or go all the way like I would take an hour and then go all and do it properly because like just for a peace of mind like I did right so anyone cannot say anything because it's the right thing to do you know yeah know I hear you I hear you yeah um okay look we we'll kind of we'll get right into things now um so last time we were on we talked you were still a brown belt and we talked a little bit about you know when you thought you might you know make that transition into a black belt or um and you know you just had I remember you said that you're a bit apprehensive because you know like there's a lot of responsibility you know that comes with being a black belt so um first of all congratulations again thank you you know uh it's been a it's been a few months now right yeah was in December DEC before right before Christmas time so it was on the 23rd my coach in Brazil made a surprise for me so it was great like it was the best very good you know I know I was happy for it and I know a lot of people were as well um but just talk a little bit about kind of that sense of responsibility that you know you feel now that you're a black belt and you know I guess just talk about that uh your the responsibility that you feel you know like uh do you feel compelled to kind of teach others or to um you know kind of promote the craft or you know like what what is it yeah um I'm actually very happy to talk about it because it's kind of like weird feeling and at the same time very like the best feeling ever yeah um like when when I received the black belt like my coach he was in Greece and he made a surprise for me and that he said like he couldn't make it to Brazil H for my seminar that I was going to coaching the gym but was all like was all Li and he made it like he always made my belts very special I never expect any belt and he didn't do this differently because you know that kind of way like every time when I go to Brazil like people just like oh you going to get the black belt now you're going to get the black belt and then I don't I didn't want to have that feeling that I was going to get because I didn't have for any belts right and I just didn't want it to have that on back of my mind and when he said he couldn't make it I was like yeah I'm definitely not going to get there so when he arrived when he like we had um a TV over there that was recording and talking to me and got that such a special moment and he when he put the belt on my like a my waist I look I was like I made it you know like wow I like there was something that like I never imagine myself being a black belt I was like imagine myself being a purple belts as we spoke to Lisa last time like there is girls that trained with me they were purple Bel and then you have kind of like have that example on the map but I never thought myself being a black belt when I started and everything that has happened to me and then when I got when I got the black belts at the same time I was like oh my God I made it like I'm black belt and then at the same time I'm like [ __ ] what I'm going to do like to know like people will look at you differently like they will ask you a question they expect you to answer so then like after a while like I it's just like like everything that has happened like there is not not have been like easy year for me to be honest Tony uh like everything that I went through I just felt the urgence to go to Brazil and there was few situation that has happened over there feel like forgiveness and like back in like all the traumas that I had had before it's kind of like was passed by like it seems to be that I went there to solve and when I got the black belt was kind of like yeah you it's your new Journey now like everything's new uh I had such a connection with God in Brazil and like literally like the old Jack has died for the new Jack become and that's what I felt and then I felt that like by closing my journey in Brazil cuz I was going to come back on the 27th that's what I felt that was like okay that's a new jacket now like that's what I'm do whatever like it feels in my heart and as the months became I felt that like definitely I have more assertiveness like in in everything thing that I do yeah because makes you like at the beginning I was like I'm shy to show like I'm a black Bel you know like I'm I'm like what I'm going to do like I didn't want to promote that until I spoke to kefir H C cros ke for Crosby yeah yeah so and then he said one thing that kept in my head and that changed completely my perspective I even thank him for that after our conversation because he said like Jackie whatever you you go you're a black belt now it's not easy to be a black belt there's no many black belts in this world there's many people that want to be but are afraid to to commit to it and everywhere that you go like if you're going either a company or on the match or by just like yeah I'm a black Bel like people will will admire you because everything that you have been through and especially people from martial arts that we admire even more because they know how much it takes to get there yeah and that stck to my head and then I was like yeah not shy anymore yeah I'm black belt that's good that's good that was really good advice for sure very very good and I really thank him after that because makes a different for a difference for me H to see myself in a different way and like again I got this like to be a example of people H because they look you different the same way that I was looking to my my friends back home in Brazil as their purple bels like of course you do like you're going to look at them as like oh they like they posture are different the and then being a black belts not how many techniques that you know you can be [ __ ] at the techniques which is very hard because you you have been training for a long of the years so you're not [ __ ] but like I I I so looky because I had my coaches in Brazil that give the base of Jiu-Jitsu like what Jiu-Jitsu means in terms of communting in terms of helping each other in terms of like have that discipline or small steps or be there when I was crying or be there when I tried to give up because I thought I wasn't good enough and like my coach I like saying H how much you can achieve in and on the mats but like he always relates to outside of the mats what the person you become and he always tried to be present and outside as well like and for me every time that I coach like either young kids cuz I I'm coaching kids now and then I'm just fall in love with it and like for me it's like okay I'm coaching then discipline it's not like the technique they will pick it up but like the the core the base of Jiu-Jitsu and I think that's why I value the discipline and the doine of Jiu-Jitsu so much because that's what I fall in love for it wasn't for the choke you know wasn't for like what they brought me and that's why everywhere that I go everywhere that I coach I try to emphasize it because I don't want a this to to die you know it really is like um like if you if you kind of really embraced the kind of the whole lifestyle um it it really the Improvement of your overall life like really will you know Skyrock it like for me by getting a black belt like that's like after I spoke to kefir and then I was like okay like I will be the example so let me the best one as I can so every everything that I do it's with pure love and pure respect and like like you know like I try to be good for people I try to help as much as I can and I try to promote as much as I can and the other side of it it was brought me like that I don't that I don't need to prove anything to anyone else you know like even though like we we keep saying like I never had to but kind of like made that stronger for me and and the connection that I did have with God was like you know like you're doing good yeah and that's all matters and like if people say differently doesn't like doesn't really matter to me because I try to be good H if they like oh she's to know like ah she's doing or like she wants popularity or anything like I don't want any of this like that the only thing that I want is like get more ladies into the mats not either like just like ladies only or like no know it's it's it's more than that it's a it's a male-dominated sport you know so that's one of the things you do that I absolutely love like I have two little girls m and when they get older I would like them to be you know involved in you know Combat Sports of some some degree or another um you know and I think in order to get them to do that they need Role Models uh you know to kind of to look up to so you know that's one of the reasons why I like your podcast and that's one of the reasons why um you know I I you know want to help out with it um it's one of the reasons why I really like you um you know you're a huge proponent of women in you know Combat Sports a like a uh you know predominantly male uh Sport and then on top of that it's a sport that doesn't necessarily have the greatest of images you know um if you're not familiar with it then you know often times you just think it's like a blood sport you know even Jiu-Jitsu which is pretty much you know like low impact you know um you know but like said that that's one of the things you do that I I I really um appreciate um I appreciate for my girls even though they're not old enough yet um and like I said hopefully um you know with the help of yourself and all the other women who are involved um you know I said I'll give my girl someone to a up toing and maybe give them inspiration to you know either you know try Jiu-Jitsu or MMA or something or uh you know just do something difficult and know that they can do it yeah so that's and I think like that's why we cannot forgive because it's it's easier for us us that got on that stage to like not going back and see what we came from do you know like we always need to come back and like listen like like um on the older times like when I start Jiu-Jitsu was because my friend was like literally begging me to do something new in the gym yeah and then the first thought I was like I don't want to like hug and sweat people like and then eventually I got there and and the coach the job of my coach was like listen you looks that you're very good at like come back and and he text me he's like to have someone that believe on you on the M makes such a difference and I had that from my coach since day W and until nowadays and then I have that from my coach at the moment narus and he like he believed so much on me and I really appreciate it like there is like male that believe on us and that's why like we believe in others but like in my mind is like there's no many ladies knowing about it until they start jiujitsu MH and and then like before you start Jiu-Jitsu like you know like the way my my coach used to roll with me like he needs a bell and he's like if you tap I'm gonna you know I'm gonna I'm gonna tap you even more and like was tough was very tough like nowadays it is tough but like I guess we become on the world that like everything you need to be be careful when there's like Mayo rolling against ladies and stuff like this do you know what I mean uh or or vice versa H like it's very like you need to really careful with your words and you need to really careful with everything that you do or you say so I think that all these information and everything that has happened it's kind of like just connected more ladies to the mayale predominance predominant Sports as well H I think it was was there was a disconn disconnection because before we were just like yeah let's try that out and then your coach is like is mashing you and then we were like okay I'm going to come back and it's it is very important for us to like have both because like at the same time that we all with a guy like I want to challenge myself because I want to I want to win it that like I want to see how my technique has been and if I can apply on him you know but also it's very important for you to have like female because that's why you're going to if you're a competitor that's what you're going to compete against and that's why you cannot have excused yourself like oh he's a Mayo he's stronger than me that's why he got it what he got and that's why I think it's it's very important to have the both um as well but at the same time the L is only H by look completely outside of being training jits and completely outside I have been doing programs with selfdefense just because not because of like like I want to people ah let's do just self-defense or promote jit of self-defense but I I I put I put myself on the other side H like imagine that lady never had jiujitsu don't have friends that have done don't know anything never search about us and like they have that lack of confidence or like they want to they have been through something that like really hurt them or they don't know not physically how to defends but like verbally H how to promote or like be more confident and like have that promotion I think like it will again what we said at the beginning of the the the podcast is like have more people doing jiujitsu have more ladies you have more confidence and then you they're going to feel more like stronger than they were and eventually they going to become better in life it's like a a cycle you know and if you can promote in a different ways we will I will just to get them because my goal at the end will be the same get more ladies on the ma right H make them to be better with themselves um and then I think that's why like the ladies only it's important to to have um I think I think it's good for women maybe to ease into it yeah to get into once they in and then they know it's like there's not about like men against ladies it's kind of like most of male that I came across on the mats they always I they always help me out they always like Jackie it's not the way it's not this way come try to the other way and like nowadays like sometimes they they going hard on me like they just like I know come on let's go and push me but like I have been training for like over 12 like 12 years so like it's it's okay but like the ladies who start and then I I always like to say even to the guys on the mats I was like guys sometimes you like the ladies only started especially for the guy has started as well like slow down like pation take it easy H Tony because I have assumed one thing for me which is like if a bad things come on my way we will stop on me the is not going to come forward I had um like very recently like an experience of a guy he went very pretty new guy he went very strong on me and tried to like hurt me to try chewing I was like it's fine if you want to win but it's not fine if you want to hurt someone to win and like I said that out loud not afraid to say because again if if it's someone new on the ma and if he does the same like maybe that girl never going to come back and we'll stop that like she's going to probably come out it's like oh yeah that sport it is me a predominant so that's what I don't want yeah for sure um how like overall like kind of your your perspective on life um you know how has Jiu-Jitsu helped shape that now I know you just said like you know when you were back in Brazil recently kind of like um you had a bit a closure on some you know uh things from the past and then you know kind of old Jackie new Jackie um but how like I said how has judici in general kind of helped uh you know shape her Outlook well um I guess in terms of I have been competing a lot so I put myself in a lot of like risks yeah and like all competitor does and that gives kind of like what you want more than your fear that you have like go above everything else so I think that's why I always advise at least like people compete at once because you put yourself like at that risk even though if you have the fear just to just to have actually that fear of competing I think that was very important to me uh if it wasn't Jiu-Jitsu I probably wouldn't take a risk to come to another country without know know how to speak English and without knowing anyone on this country H like me like many things I can that that that leads into a question I have here like so if it wasn't for jiujitsu you had never found it or you know maybe you did and you know that guy was too rough with you and you decided to you know not pursue it anymore you know where do you think he would be I don't know probably back home married a guy with a kid h no I don't know like I don't think I would do like bad in life because I always I always like to study and then I was good in my my career in Brazil as well um I used to work for the government uh over there like we had like we I worked for a startup like we did a lot of like government work and I was like the front ofish like I I was I'm communicology so like I was in the front um of every of every client over there and I think like I always like want good like good for life and I liked my job and everything I don't think I would do it good bad sorry but I don't think I would stand for myself as I am now okay um like I probably always would be behind behind someone behind a company or behind do you know like don't I'm not criticizing it but like I do think I like all my beliefs and everything that I went through and all like even the tou talk like that was something that like was always my dream to to be on the tag like in Portuguese not in English and like I got it like you know like so I think now I stand for myself in in all my beliefs and everything that has happened to me for the good for the world so probably I wouldn't following my purpose I would follow more like the career perspective like make money and like kind do the steps to you know kind of get promoted and yeah yeah yeah like just like normal life Society rather than kind of focusing on what you really want to do yeah and I don't think this is myself like I do think like I have more to offer H to the world than than just being promote in a company you know like don't like I don't mind like people do it's just not my you know and I I feel that from the B from the bottom of my heart and like and and then again it's not about me it's about like what God wants me to share his message which it is love love the others help the others save the others to have a better world you know we on um yeah so you know basically kind of Jitsu really helped you you know do what you want to do in life you know rather than you know just working for someone else and kind of you know kind of helping them along you're really taking all that energy and focusing it on yourself and then that that's that's definitely um sorry that is uh what I going to say um that shows recently because like you know you're now kind like a pretty much like a full-time freelancer yeah yeah yeah so you're you're you're 100% all in on you you know that that's amazing and um you know I really applaud that that takes a lot of courage to to do something like that yeah and a lot of frustration as well like it wasn't 100% it wasn't easy like even though I have people ask me like oh I want to see you competing and was like you have no idea what I have been through um of challeng in life like and um either like financially like to leave a job that I have like being pay every single month to actually believe in what I do asking for Freelancers that like wasn't like properly relate to jiujitsu like was be relate to like either being the strategy marketing for some companies just to have the money come in so I can do whatever I want to do and like sometimes like look around my bank account and I like like [ __ ] you know like like I I used like and then that's one thing as well um like made me stuck with it because last year I had such a burnout that like I completely forgot my name and my age was like was awful and I think that's why I had that connection disconnection with God because was just like when I had that burn out for me to come back I just hear some voice saying you're a fighter you know how to breathe keep breathing come back like you know there's no explanation for me if it's not the higher power you know and when I got like when I realized who I am I was like [ __ ] I I I just didn't I didn't realize I didn't do what I meant to be doing and from the bottom of my heart I know my purpose it is to empowering ladies like with all the things like maybe I have been through so many things in life so just like like abuse and and and like verbally and physically and like you know had a relationships that didn't work it out like I have like people treating on me have my father that never gave me a call to see how are you never helped me like I always had my mom as a big fan of me yeah and she always helped me she always worked very hard and then when I came to a different country like had people asking me like different jobs because I was Brazilian or like do you you know like like I have been through so many things that nowadays like everything that I do it's going to be for good and then if you say differ I'm I'm sorry like my story has been so hard on like for me to just give up what I what I want to do and when I had this burn out last like last year I was like now I'm sick of like get the other the road I want to follow in my path and I'm going to stick with it no matter and like that's what has been so far like but got a lot of frustration of like listen I I had such a good money before I like you know like I was in in in the company that pay me very well and I had bonus like almost every month and and then I was like yeah but because my my healthy like it's not worth it so I need to keep a remind myself every time why I am doing this and every time I do my devotional every morning everything that I do it's like I I say to God I was like God that's for you that's for the love I know I know we will come back once I keep doing good and that's why keep me strong to be honest like because to know like seeing sometimes I'm like I don't know what to do but that's when the miracle comes you know that's when you see like there is a higher power there is god with me that it's like give me the direction that I need and to be honest I have been my happiest in life because inside of me I am happy even though looks that like I don't know what to do I know God looks after me and I will get where I want I just need to keep going and that's like like I'm giving some steps ahead for me to push myself you know like okay I I became a self-employed now I need to figure out how I'm I'm going to get that money like now have the podcast and then I was like okay what's my my goal with this podcast I'm not going to keep looking at like how many views it is but like once I'm doing good to one person that's I am job done and if I see someone get is struggling at Jiu-Jitsu no matter what I will help them out if I see someone new I will say welcome you know like I always try to be good because I know one time I aming the process but I guess I am way more resilient that I was before and you know like treating like when something happens to me like I I swear to God like very recently was like taxes to pay and blah blah blah like everything just came I was like oh my God what I'm going to deal with and then I was like yeah I'm going to deal with it like forget about it the soon as I solve that problem like that goes away from my mind and that's what I have been learning controlling my emotions so much that like no matter where the situation it is I was was like okay I said to myself like H I was like I can cry for an hour but not for a day and that has been helped me so much like when I see the situation I'm like okay that that's a that's a good kind of uh moniker to have a situation like that that's a good one yeah I'm like you know like I I can okay [ __ ] like it's not always going to be positive and it's going to be good I understand the situation it's not the situation that I want to be but what can I do to get that at least a little bit better than was the last time and in my head if the situation come back that means I haven't learn yeah so I try a different approach if it doesn't come back that means the approach was right so and then I start doing for the other situations as well so I was like you know um I did my driver license very recently and because I moved to the address like was got like I had to pay that again and then like because they couldn't found and I proved everything that I sent aail with the proof address and everything and then I was and then they said like was reject so I need to apply again so I need to pay again and then I was like you know what that's frustrating that's frustrating but that's what it is okay let me pay again I'm not going to keep that in mind okay moving on because that if I focus on that like the energy will will go on that and then I will be upset and then for for the things that I energy not pointed somewhere useful yeah and then the things that I want to be good like focus on the next guest of my podcast and be excited about it or like even coach and help my be exciting for my student like get a technique right like that's like if I if I focus on dash that I will take it out from the things that needs my energy and my attention yeah uh they say what is it like 90% of something that happen hold on I'm screwing this up it's uh 90% of it is not it's how or 10 90% of is how you react not the situation yeah you know so if you know if you can react to a a bad situation you know maybe kind of positively or not negatively at least then you know it's that's the majority of it in a lot of cases it is yeah even like um even on the bible say that like it's the way you react to the the situation you know like you can I can tell everyone to like I'm sorry about the word but like you can tell everyone to [ __ ] off but like to know that's really help no do you know and I think when you like I study a lot of in terms of like I did um pause degree in customers Behavior so I I study a lot of people about people right and like every time when you do when you say like to the opposite like you're the other person tend to do the opposite way and so for example if I'm you know I'm I'm shouting the other person will like feel more like not confidential know to shout at you like there's not a a reflection and when you when you react to situation like you know I'm stressed blah blah blah like you know you you're just going to keep that Vibe of like yeah everything's [ __ ] for me nothing work and you know and at the end of the day like when I look the situation that I said about like like I need to renew my my my driver license yeah the driver license thing was at the end of the day was like five five like a 55 year old and I was like okay I just need to maybe get a one private or maybe I just need to teach someone or I just need to do a freelance that cost me that and like that pushes you to to to see things in a different way that like just being stress like stress won't solve any problem by being good you solve the problem and you still have a good mood yeah 100 yeah absolutely yeah for sure U I think sometimes a lot of people think get caught up in the stress especially when there's multiple stress factors so it's e it's easy to do but you know it's it's like any skill you know you got to you got to practice it you know you're not going to for you're not going to get it right away um you know but uh uh just practice it and then you know eventually you can kind of you know stay aloof through you know stressful situations um yeah look Jackie um I think we could sit and talk all day I think um but run out of time here and and I know you you you got some things on still after this like I sincerely appreciate you coming in talking um everyone check out the Leer Talk podcast um for people who might want to reach out to you uh what What's the best way to do that um Instagram or yeah or through my email like either or like I I always keep my my eyes on my Instagram as well and so it's h j I think it's ja. Jack almea I'll link everything down below and my email will be the same so jajal ala.com so like um either or excellent okay uh um yeah uh yeah thanks thank you so much like you were like I love the way you were thinking about like your daughters as well like being a father and and think about it and thank you so much for as well helping me like in like believe on my project because it's not easy like someone like present something to you and then we're like yeah like let's do it like so thank you so much and um really appreciate it I hope like people get a little bit like what I what I'm trying to say over here on your podcast and then like you I hope see you from the top you know like we're going to see each other helping each other and then I think that's what life is about like you know you have a dream I do have a dream and we have we can follow our heart but we can't do this on our own we need to like just keep help each other and then as as as much as I can and I will I will help to know like and like same here I'm happy to do as much as I can whenever I can um yeah I I look forward to you know you in the future seeing your success um and you know I hope I hope both our podcasts blow up but you know specifically your you I said I enjoy being a part of it um you know so yeah that that's thank you so much no problem thank you um yeah all right [Music]